So this last weekend was great. After hours of boredom, Queen Bee(QB) and I decided to go to a local gay bar. When QB gets drunk, she transforms into a 5 year old with a grown woman's body and a mix of maturity. To put it simply, she is an awesome drunk. Very entertaining! At this particular bar, there are events for certain days of the week. That evening, there was a Wet Underwear Contest. A friend of mine that I had met on a iTouch app, Grindr, and QB decided that I should enter. After 5 seconds of peer pressure I finally gave in.As a participant of said contest, one must strip to there underwear, get on stage and dance while getting sprayed with water. Usually there are three contestants, 1st prize is a hundred dollars cash. Sounds easy enough...'til that light is on you and your roommate is sticking out among the crowd half embarrassed to see her roommate/practically brother dance in his underwear. Regardless, I had fun doing it and won second place. One Free Drink For Me!!!! LOL.
As the night went on, QB proceeded to get PLASTERED! First the munchies hit her. Aware of her new hunger, she proceeded to convince/harass the cute security guard for a bite or two of his burrito. Next hit the bladder. She drags me along with her to the bathroom where she goes on and on about her undying love for me and to never let her nomadic tenancies get the best of her. I love her! After the bathroom, her eye caught the luscious ass of the host of the underwear contest. Spotting this marvel, she decides that she must give it a squeeze... A very surprised host laughed and complimented hers butt as we went out to the patio to smoke with Grindr Guy. In the midst of socializing and smoking, QB decided that a dinner party for the following day was in order. After inviting half of the crowd outside, another urge to pee hit her. This time however, the urge to hug random strangers got a hold of her. Poor people! some were shocked and surprised. Others knew us from previous visits to the bar. After much persuasion from myself and Grindr Guy, we left to get QB to bed. The car ride home was even more fun. The next stage of drunkeness that hit QB was half-consciousness. She tried writing "Bitches" on the inside of my windshield but got to the letter "B" and fell asleep. Half-way home, she goes, "My neck hurts, fix it, Bitches." So I turn her head the towards me instead and she falls over to where she is now laying half in the seat and half over the middle section of the car. She is like this for the remainder of the ride home. Getting her out of the car was a whole other story that I just don't want to get into but you can imagine the struggle. Anyways, I finally get her inside where she decides she hates dogs, can't remember who I am, and can't remember where she is. After a bit of pulling on her arm(literally), I got her in bed where she attempted to get comfortable and rolled off of the bed....twice. After a bit more struggle, I got her back in bed and called her friend "PNNU", to come over and take care of her. All in all a good night/morning. We both had some major recovery time later that day.Moving on, we did have a dinner party which turned out to be quite the success. QB cooked her amazing meatloaf, green beans, home-fries, and bread sticks. For desert I baked my flavorful apple cobbler. If I were to describe that meal with one word it would be, "Mouth-gasm".
MOUTH-GASM: adjective: used to describe uncontrollable bursts of flavor orally; to describe the unknown phenomena caused by explosions of food within the mouth cavity; orgasmic pleasure in the mouth
Needless to say, everyone enjoyed the meal. After a cigarette break outside and a few good-byes to some of the guests, we departed for another night out for karaoke. No drunkenness that night but we did stay up very late. Stay tuned for the next random adventure!
