Been a bit

 My apologies for not writing in a while. The new job has me working late six days a week. So what's new in my life? Let me tell you! I outed myself to my co-workers. Not sure why I decided to do that but went along with it anyways. They were more than surprised however. One of them telling me that that was the one thing he thought I was not. I want to know what he thought I was! LOL. I am probably the worst homosexual ever though. To let you all know what kind of "gay" I am, here is a list: I know very few show tunes; I do not have a lisp; I don't have a limp wrist; I absolutely love country music; I enjoy slaying zombies; I prefer a Bud Light over a Cosmo; I am comfortable with using the word "faggot" or "fag" in excess; I do NOT do glitter; I prefer a good bar over a dance club; I believe that if unicorns were to exist, they were meant for women, not men; I do NOT believe that rainbows symbolize who I am, ect.
 Now to be perfectly clear with a few things: I do have a pretty decent taste in clothing, interior decor, and men; I do listen to Lady Gaga on occasion; I might be a beer guy, but I will enjoy a fruity drink once in a while; I DO support gay marriage; I am an activist; I do hope to have a husband and children one day; I plan to march in Gay Pride, ect.
 So I guess I am a balanced gay? I have heard from other men that to be "straight acting" is to be a fake. I am "straight acting" because that is all I know. I was raised in a christian, home-schooled household. I am a military brat and was raised in the South. I joined the U.S. Marine Corps soon after graduating high school. And now I am in one of the gayest cities in the world. Welcome to San Diego.
 The vast majority of the gay populace are feminine queens for lack of a better word. And for what I am about to say, please do not get offended. The guys out here cry glitter, piss rainbows, and shit unicorns. Yes, I do not do the above. "You are a hater!" one might say about me. No, sir. I am "ME" and I am proud of it. I accept  everyone for who they are and who they try to be. If everyone in San Diego wants to look and act like Lady Gaga, then so be it. I will accept you and even throw down a beer with you! Just don't expect me to dance in the glitter and shimmery lights.

New job and old midget ladies....

So I am gonna start off by apologizing for not posting a new post for a while. I just started a new job selling the Kirby home care cleaning systems. Loads of fun. Lol. But seriously. I meet a lot of new and strange people on the job. The other day I went to this one appointment in Chula Vista where I met my customer who looked like an ancient midget lady. To be completely honest, I am 6'2" so anyone shorter than me is just plain short. This lady however was barely above my waist. I wasn't sure exactly how to react to this but went about doing my demonstration for her while answering the many questions concerning my height. "So are you the tallest in your family?" One of the many questions that she bombarded me with during the 1 hour demo. I have never felt so tall! Lol. I told Queen Bee about the little lady and with her vast knowledge of anything nerd tells me that she was "Mumm-Ra" incarnate. Yes. We do watch "Thundercats" in this house and we absolutely love our nerdiness! Seriously though, all she needed was about 2 rolls of toilet tissue wrapped around her miniature frame and she could've totally pulled "Mumm-Ra" for a Halloween costume party. She would've gotten  my vote for whatever contest she signed up for! What made it even better was that she sounded like she was just as old as the partly-mummified bat.
 Moving on, she was a great lady. Very friendly and offered me dinner which I politely refused. I don't know how she could've reached the stove anyways. Poor midget lady....

 So this new job of mine comes with morning meetings. Motivational speeches from our multi-millionare boss-man and theme songs that remind me of Sunday school. The songs have hand motions too. And we have to sing the songs and do the motions to "pump" us up every morning. Yeah. Not sure about everybody else but I sing and dance thinking to myself, "Why?". It is amusing to watch though. Everybody sings and dances while laughing at each other because we all look that stupid. What's worse is that the songs were created to be perpetually playing in your head. It's like brainwashing with music. I think that there are little Kirby salesmen dancing in my head from listening to those songs. Creepy but I have to endure the dancing and singing so my boss can appreciated his employees "motivation". Ya.

Don't Anybody Move...I Lost My Car!

 So this past weekend was a mess. A friend of mine(whom I shall name "No Balls") and his friend(More Balls) came to visit. What I did not expect, is the stupid guy that also joined the "party". Stupid and his girlfriend, Stupid Does, were exactly that. Stupid. Absolutely no manners and no sense of direction. I tried to talk them through the directions Barney Style. They got lost again and I had to meet them. Fail!
 Whatever the case, I am jumping ahead of myself. No Balls and More Balls took me to the San Diego Zoo before the Stupid Duo showed up. We got there around 4ish and parked in the "A" section(remember that!) There was one slight problem though. Between the three of us, not one knew where the zoo entrance was. We walked through the parking lot to find what we though might be the zoo entrance. Finding the San Diego Museum of something rather than the zoo, we asked for directions. Gotta give us that! Three grown men actually asked for directions!!! We were told to turn around and go back towards the museum and we would find the entrance to the zoo. Unfortunately, the zoo was no where to be found. We then asked someone else for directions who told us to keep walking towards the parking lot and to look to the left to find the missing entrance. As we neared the parking lot, we looked left and low and behold....The Entrance! We got to the kiosk to get our tickets when we were told that the zoo closed in an hour. Bummer. We decided to come back the following day. As we head back to the car, it strikes me. I have no idea where I parked the car! No Balls says that I parked in the "H" section. Seemed like a good place to start since any recollection of my car's whereabouts were no longer available. We walked around and around....and around and around. The car was hidden in a mess of cars for miles and miles around it seemed. We worked our way up the parking lot to find my car in section "A". Memory should be permanent for everybody!!!

 But anyways, I went out with them in search of an 18+ club for the Stupid Duo and some girl that No Balls had been talking to online that night. For those single ladies out there, don't lie when it comes to your looks. It will only leave you to think that the guy you had been talking to is a complete asshole when he finally wants to meet you and leaves because you aren't the person he thought he was talking to. If you were wondering what happened with the girl, we found them. And then we left because she was not the attractive girl he thought he was talking to.
 Moving on. We ended up walking around with No Balls's iPhone leading the way. About an hour or so later, we decided that giving up on finding an18+ club in the area was too far fetched. And the search for my car began. Now let me explain our dilemma. My car was parked in a half empty parking lot. The ones that you pay like $10 for the night. Anyways, after walking around for an hour and a half, one tends to forget which way they came. Not to mention there were about 5-10 other parking lots that looked the same as the one that was holding my car hostage. We did eventually find the car. At about 1:30 in the morning! Ugh.
 Now for those of you that might be reading this, there are ways we could've avoided the lost car situation. No Balls placed a pin on his iPhone to keep track of where I had parked. Unfortunately, the pin was erased. As far as memory goes, the Stupid Duo were no help at all. More Balls and I had already served in the military and our memory is seriously lacking. No Balls didn't remember in hopes that his phone would lead the way back. There is a big Pink Fail sticker saved for the whole group. So no worries! LOL. Until next time!

Drunken 5 Year Olds

 So this last weekend was great. After hours of boredom, Queen Bee(QB) and I decided to go to a local gay bar. When QB gets drunk, she transforms into a 5 year old with a grown woman's  body and a mix of maturity. To put it simply, she is an awesome drunk. Very entertaining! At this particular bar, there are events for certain days of the week. That evening, there was a Wet Underwear Contest. A friend of mine that I had met on a iTouch app, Grindr, and QB decided that I should enter. After 5 seconds of peer pressure I finally gave in.
 As a participant of said contest, one must strip to there underwear, get on stage and dance while getting sprayed with water. Usually there are three contestants, 1st prize is a hundred dollars cash. Sounds easy enough...'til that light is on you and your roommate is sticking out among the crowd half embarrassed to see her roommate/practically brother dance in his underwear. Regardless, I had fun doing it and won second place. One Free Drink For Me!!!! LOL.
 As the night went on, QB proceeded to get PLASTERED! First the munchies hit her. Aware of her new hunger, she proceeded to convince/harass the cute security guard for a bite or two of his burrito. Next hit the bladder. She drags me along with her to the bathroom where she goes on and on about her undying love for me and to never let her nomadic tenancies get the best of her. I love her! After the bathroom, her eye caught the luscious ass of the host of the underwear contest. Spotting this marvel, she decides that she must give it a squeeze... A very surprised host laughed and complimented hers butt as we went out to the patio to smoke with Grindr Guy. In the midst of socializing and smoking, QB decided that a dinner party for the following day was in order. After inviting half of the crowd outside, another urge to pee hit her. This time however, the urge to hug random strangers got a hold of her. Poor people! some were shocked and surprised. Others knew us from previous visits to the bar. After much persuasion from myself and Grindr Guy, we left to get QB to bed. The car ride home was even more fun. The next stage of drunkeness that hit QB was half-consciousness. She tried writing "Bitches" on the inside of my windshield but got to the letter "B" and fell asleep. Half-way home, she goes, "My neck hurts, fix it, Bitches." So I turn her head the towards me instead and she falls over to where she is now laying half in the seat and half over the middle section of the car. She is like this for the remainder of the ride home. Getting her out of the car was a whole other story that I just don't want to get into but you can imagine the struggle. Anyways, I finally get her inside where she decides she hates dogs, can't remember who I am, and can't remember where she is. After a bit of pulling on her arm(literally), I got her in bed where she attempted to get comfortable and rolled off of the bed....twice. After a bit more struggle, I got her back in bed and called her friend "PNNU", to come over and take care of her. All in all a good night/morning. We both had some major recovery time later that day.
 Moving on, we did have a dinner party which turned out to be quite the success. QB cooked her amazing meatloaf, green beans, home-fries, and bread sticks. For desert I baked my flavorful apple cobbler. If I were to describe that meal with one word it would be, "Mouth-gasm".
  MOUTH-GASM: adjective: used to describe uncontrollable bursts of flavor orally; to describe the unknown phenomena caused by explosions of food within the mouth cavity; orgasmic pleasure in the mouth
 Needless to say, everyone enjoyed the meal. After a cigarette break outside and a few good-byes to some of the guests, we departed for another night out for karaoke. No drunkenness that night but we did stay up very late. Stay tuned for the next random adventure!

Introduction

 To start off, I am letting you know a little about my past. I was born in South Korea and adopted twice, home-schooled, moved from place to place(military brat) joined the Marine Corps, and have a rough (but getting better) relationship with the family. Oh yeah....I am gay. That about sums it up! I am an aspiring model now living in San Diego, CA. I live with my amazing roommate and stupid (yet adorable) dog.  For security reasons, I will be referring to my roommate as "Queen Bee". The dog's name is Chewy just FYI.
 Just to let ya'll know what my blog will contain....well to put simply, a lot of randomness in my adventure that I call life! I will be trying to blog at least once or twice a week.
 I just moved into a cozy and spacious apartment that I absolutely love! My kitchen is perfect for the glorious meals that Queen Bee and I cook. BTW, our food is to die for! Seriously! Chewy has adjusted amazingly well and has plenty of room for his random stupidness. I don't think he has decided which room he enjoys relaxing in yet though. LOL.
 I am actively searching for a steady job which is going incredibly slow. Gotta love today's economy! I am trying to get my name out there as a model. Kinda taking a lot longer than I had hoped though. I am also an aspiring gay porn-star. I just recently stopped playing the keyboard for a nearby church but might be playing again for another church. And yes, you did read that right! I donate plasma regularly. It is quite annoying though. I do love the movies they play though!
 Anyways, that is about all you need to know about the who I am and what I do for now. Going on about today, Queen Bee and I decided to go to Walmart to grab a silver-ware seperater and some rubber mats for the shelves in the kitchen. I am not sure if it is just our opinion or if others feel the same way, but we believe that Walmart has devilishly placed everything in random places to get buyers to spend more money on things they may or may not need. We go in with two items on our minds. We come out with about twenty... Gotta love it.
 Do you believe in Hungry Shopping? We do! Hungry shopping is similar to the above rant about Walmart. This happens when you go grocery shopping and then that evil monster, "Hunger", sneaks up on you and makes you buy all the yummy food you happen to pass by. Evil I say! Evil! The worst part is that it gets you when you least expect it! But the end rewards are always nice because when you get back home and you find out that that hunger you felt earlier is no longer there, you have all this awesome food for later!
 Earlier I mentioned how well Chewy was adjusting to the new apartment. Well as it turns out, we have a new schedule for his walks and outings. So now, he retaliates by showing his immense affection for us by leaving us presents on the carpet. He likes leaving the gift either in the bathroom or right outside of it. I am hoping that he gets used to the schedule really soon because his gifts of affection have this odor see.....LOL.
 Well that I think is enough randomness for today. Until the next adventure!