2 Years Later

 Seems as though I forgot about this for a while and found it today. Two years is a hell of a lot of time for shit to change in someones life. Since my move to Ohio, I have been loved, hurt, broken, built, reborn, and rebuilt. Where am I now? Still in Ohio working finding my next step towards something. Not sure what that may be just yet but here's to hoping. 

 After the ex I moved to Ohio for dumped me, for reasons unknown to me, I ended up in a homeless shelter for a bit due to living with him and his family was too much of a burden on everyone. Got back on my feet quickly enough though and moved to Warren, Ohio. There, I spent my days enjoying walks in the park and my video games. Technically retired, I took in every minute to do absolutely nothing. It was peaceful and nice but my ambitions took hold again and I sought out a hobby of entertaining as a stripper at a nearby bar. I was fine while it lasted but turned to drag eventually. 

 My road to becoming a drag queen was all but expected. Never in my life would I have thought that I would prance around in heels and a dress and have fun doing it. I have been doing drag for 6 months now and live in Ashtabula, Ohio with my roommate, best friend, and drag mother Mona Lotz. She/he taught me so much as far as drag goes and is and has been my inspiration for drag.

 Where am I hoping to take drag? Hopefully, I can make a career out of it. I absolutely love to do this and would love to make money doing it. But if not, I am still hoping something will spark my interest and passion that I can make a career out of. Azia Sparks is my drag counterpart and a completely different person than myself. But so far things have been going well for her. Azia has been mainly getting booked where Mona does but I am working on getting my own car so that I can get booked more often and at more bars. Hoping to land a booking in Japan at an army base next summer and hoping to get on RuPaul's Drag Race season 10. Here's to hoping!!!! That pretty much sums my last two years. At least the short version.

The Chance for Love and the Hurt that Follows...

For those of you that are keeping up with my story, you already know  that i have had my share of break-ups. I vowed never to date again to avoid the inevitable hurt. Well it has been almost a year now since I have legitimately dated, and I may break that vow now. I am undecided and am scared to death. I have known this guy for over two years now and will be moving across the country for college and a job but also to be closer to him. The thing that scares me most is that I actually want to date him. I have developed some very strong emotions towards him, and that scares the shit out of me.
 So here is my question to all my readers: Is Love worth the hurt? I understand that there will be hurt if I give this a chance. I also understand that people are only human and cannot be perfect. But I don't want to fall in love only to get hurt again. Some may say that I am living in fear. And I can agree with those of you who think so. I am only human. I am scared of hurt and pain. I am scared of that day when I am in tears because I wasn't good enough or the time just wasn't right. I am scared that I will put myself out there for a guy that might be and find out that he wasn't.
 Give it a chance? I am thinking about it. But I do not know if I am strong enough to take that next step. What advice can you give a guy that already knows both sides of the story? Follow my heart? That is for movies and fairy tales. Love can be a very happy place but I will always live in fear of the Hurt that Follows.

Time to Catch Up

 To those of you reading my blog, I apologize for the long lapse without any new posts. I have been very busy the last month and a half.
 For those of you waiting for my gumbo recipe, I will post a video instead of the recipe. The memory problems I have make it hard to write it all down but luckily my hands know what they are doing. For my recipes, I will post videos instead. You will also be able to find the videos on YouTube. I will release the link when I have an account ready to view.
 So what has happened in my life so far? Let's see... First, I came down with a nasty virus that lasted a good week or so. At least I got out my one time to get sick a year out of the way. Then, I moved down the road to a flat. All I remember from that was the immense amount of pain I had throughout the moving process. Not to worry. No hospitalization was needed. Just a few Naproxen and lots of ice and a cane. Yippee.... Moving took few days but the internet and cable took weeks to get hooked back up. Ugh! And last but not least, my mom got pregnant and a friend of ours that is staying with us is also pregnant. Can anyone say "House Nurse and Butler"? Lol. Do not get me wrong. I love that my mom is pregnant. But try living with two pregnant women who might blow up cause the AC is one degree too high or something. I kind of feel important though. Ok, now that I am thinking about it; my ego has doubled in size. I am needed and important!!! LOL. You might be thinking that I have no life right about now. Well it's not much of one but it's something.
 A few friends and I went to the club last Saturday night. We went to the gay club in Palm springs first but one of my buddies was very uncomfortable. To be honest, it was hilarious. His best friend might as well be his husband without the sex thrown in. Regardless, it was a great night. We ended up in Peabody's for karaoke night. We all sang a song despite our better judgment. I sang "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas. The girls sand "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood and the guys sang some songs that I haven't heard of. They like 90's music. I never really got into that genre. Oh well.
 Until next time, (which hopefully won't be long) bye.

Droughts and Gumbo!

 So since I have moved back to Twentynine Palms; I have had zero sex. And please don't take this the wrong way. I am NOT a sex addict. I am human and a man at that....we have NEEDS!!! LOL. But seriously! I really want to get laid and/or go on a date. And maybe possibly try straight sex. Still a bit iffy on that one. I got so many questions that need answered! Why do girls like their boobs played with? Do all women want their "V" licked? How do I know that I am doing it right? Ect. Ugh. Well anyways, I have become a virgin again(if that is possible) and I really really want to get laid. And dropping my standards is not an option.
 I did cook a seriously awesome New Orleans style gumbo the other night though. A few of the neighbors tried it and to put it simply; if they were single gay men, I would've been married to three men and had sex with five men that night. Sigh. Now back to reality. They took leftovers to work and the stock pot full of gumbo was gone in two days. Three cheers for my awesomeness!!!! Woohoo! I will post up the recipe at a later time for those of you that are interested.
 Applied for college out here but the classes I needed were full and I won't be able to start college until the next semester. Luckily, I have my mom here. Gotta love it! Might not be your typical gay dude, but I am your typical college guy. Go ahead. Laugh. I am hysterical! Not really. LOL.

Apple pie

So here is my own version of apple pie.

What you will need:
1 baking dish/pan
1 pie pan
1 small sauce pan
1 large sauce pan
1 small skillet

Crust:
10 Graham crackers crushed
1/8 cup coffee creamer (Your choice of flavor. I use cinnamon caramel.)

Topping:
1/8 cup brown sugar
1/8 cup caramel syrup
1/2 cup granola
butter
diced apples and/or apple slivers

Granola:
2 1/2 cup of oats
2 tablespoons canola oil
2 cups apple juice
cinnamon
white sugar

Filling:
7 sliced apples (I prefer to use 2 golden 2 granny 3 red)
1 Tablespoon cinnamon
1/4 cup apple juice

 Ok! Now the granola will need to be made first. Pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees. Take the oats and create an even layer on the baking pan. Make a visible and even layer of cinnamon and sugar over the layer of oats. Set aside. In the small sauce pan, mix the oil and apple juice and bring to a boil. If the oven is not ready to use, let the apple juice/oil simmer until the oven is ready. Pour liquids, as evenly as possible, over the oats. make sure to mix until the oats are thoroughly coated. Bake for 30 minutes making sure to stir oats at the 15 minute marker.
 While the granola is baking, get the crust ready. Mix crushed graham crackers and creamer. You might need to add a little more but keep the mixture very thick. After lightly greasing the pie pan, form the crust. A spoon works well for this part. Go ahead and put crust in the oven with the granola for the last 15 minutes.
 For the filling, mix the apples, cinnamon, and juice in the large sauce pan and bring to a steady boil stirring occasionally. Be sure to stir apples from the bottom to get the apples cooked evenly. Cook 'til apples are soft. They should be like pillows so check often so that you don't end up with apple sauce. Once the apples are done, carefully transfer them into the crust. Use a spoon with holes in it as to not get the liquid. You will need the liquid for later. Add the granola to the pie and bake for 20 minutes. Drizzle caramel over the pie and bake for another 15 minutes or until the crust and granola is crisp.
 The topping is up to you. I like to use the slivers and diced apples. The slivers are simple. Add them to the pie for the last 15 minutes. For the diced apples, saute in the skillet with caramel, cinnamon, and brown sugar. Add butter as needed. You will need it. You are basically caramelizing the apples. If you want them to have more liquid, add some of the liquid from the apples from the filling. Saute until soft and evenly coated with sticky goodness and top off your pie! Serve warm with ice cream and a movie. I hope you enjoy!
 WARNING! I wrote this recipe off of memory. If you have been reading my blog, you know that I have some memory issues. So you might have to tweak this recipe to get the pie exactly right.

What You Can't Have

 Why is it that you want what you can't have? I have fallen in love with a guy I know I will never have. And, no, I'm not talking about Mario Lopez. But I had a crush on the guy for the longest time. He and I talked about everything. Or at least most everything. He helped me through a lot of hard times and memory farts. Sometimes I feel like I would do anything for him to include taking a bullet for him. And you'll never guess what happened. I lied to him and probably lost all trust I thought I had with him. Given the lie was only a "white" lie to make him jealous but it was a lie nonetheless. This is gonna be a short post cause I want an opinion. What would you do in my situation?

Heads up!

 Hey readers. This is just a little heads up for y'all to be on the lookout for the occasional "MOR"(My Own Recipe). All of the recipes that I post will be part of the cook book I'm creating. All recipes are of my own creation from past meals, snacks, and desserts that I decided to create. All you have to do is be the judge.